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It's something I call "the taxi driver interrogation" because, in my experience, taxi drivers are the worst offenders, often slack-jawed in dismay that a "lovely girl like you" hasn't been snapped up. There have been so many occasions when I've revealed that I'm single only to have the person I'm talking to say: But you seem so nice. I don't kick puppies for fun or push old ladies down manholes — I just don't have a husband and it doesn't bother me half as much as it seems to bother everyone else. My honest answer to the question "Why did you never marry? I don't know, it just didn't happen. This horrible blame game is something Eckel calls "single shaming" and it's a curious phenomenon that seems only to be directed at women.

The unattached woman is to be pitied and mocked while the unattached man is to be envied and respected. A simple game of word association is enough to hammer home the point. Think of the word "spinster" and what images pop into your head? Now do the same with "bachelor". A Miss Marple figure surrounded by cats and coupons for us and a suntanned hunk in a sport's car for him — am I right? I also can't recall ever having seen a single self-help book on the shelf aimed at rescuing men from the curse of bachelorhood. But any single woman looking for help in getting hitched can choose from about titles on Amazon, including the bestselling Why You're Not Married Yet by Tracy McMillan.

In this, she states that the six main reasons women aren't snapped up are because we're either: It is meant to be light hearted but the message is clear: Of course, if women didn't buy these books then they wouldn't get published and I admit that in my 20s and early 30s I thumbed through a few of them myself. However, as soon as I realised that the lesson from every volume was to act dumb and lower your expectations, I lost interest. One book suggested that the next time I needed a lightbulb replaced or a plug changed, instead of doing it myself I should knock on the doors of all my neighbours and try to find a single man to do it for me.


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